I Surrender All?

Well, we shipped the lil sis off to church camp this week, so this is the longest I've had the parents to myself since I was 3 lol But anyway, last night was visitors night so we made the trip over to go to their nightly worship. It was your typical youth camp service...lots of praise and worship choruses, and the focus of the night was saying 'yes' to God. The thing that the speaker said that stood out the most to me, and thus the topic for this blog/devotional/rambling, was the phrase I surrender all. We sing it all the time, Lauren Talley does a rendition of it that I absolutely love, but stop and think about it. How much do we actually surrender? I've gotta admit, in my teenage years (wow..i can say that now :P), I was in kind of a "here's where I'm going God, feel free to come with" mindset. Then I moved into "God, I think you want me here, thank you, I've got it from here". But I was never actually totally surrendered to God. I thought I was, and I tried to be, but I don't think I ever really got there. The fact that I had no idea where I was going used to drive me crazy, and now I realize that that's because I wasn't relying on God to get me there. I wanted Him to show me just a glimpse so I could take that and run with it. But He finally brought me to a point in my life where He's given me an idea and there's no way that I can get there by myself.
This is not the place I pictured myself five years ago. Quite honestly, I thought I'd be in school in Indiana, probably getting a business degree, heading towards some job as a secretary or something to that effect. I'd be either engaged or close to it, ready to get married right after graduation, and either live in So. IL or Indy. And here I am, at a school I swore up and down I'd never go to, I am getting the business degree, but I'm as single as single can get and heading for an extremely uncertain career in TN. All of this pushing me out of my comfort zone called predictability and certainty. I have no idea where I'll be in the next five years. I can guess, but if that's not what God wants for me, then I have to be flexible enough to hear His voice telling me no (which I've come to learn can be one of His biggest blessings). My life is His, not mine, and I will go where He calls me. Of course I'll slip up and try to take control again, but each day has to be a continuous surrendering to His will.